Are our differences too big? Why so disrespectful? Question from an adoptive mom...
08/02/10 18:25
My adopted daughters are rude and disrespectful. Is
it due to our different appearances?
I am the adoptive mother of two sisters who are half
Thai. They are now 14 and 15. Their birth mother
spoke very little English. They are Asian looking-
and when kids at school call them Chinese they are
quick to point out they are half Thai- half American.
They were abandoned in a motel when they were 6
months and 18 months. They were not nourished well
and were very small for their respective ages. The
older girl still has problems with learning- and self
image due to early abuse and neglect. We were their
foster family first and then adopted them- so they
have been with us since they were infants. I am
feeling less and less connected. not from my side but
from theirs. They are very disrespectful- especially
the 14 year old. If I call her she will shriek back-
"WHHHHAAATTT!!!!" I am not okay with this but seem to
be having a hard time making a difference in her
attitude. She is very good at everything- talented
and gifted in school- plays violin and clarinet, on a
select soccer team, has many friends. Í have had many
foster children and these two girls are our 11th and
12th children- so we are experienced. I just have not
been so disrespected. What do you think- is it
related to the fact that I am a chubby six foot tall
mom- not a tiny Asian mom? Is it changing times- my
next oldest daughter is now 28- and she was not
perfect but never this rude. She is not Asian- but is
only 5'2". I am open to ideas- but I can't get
shorter and at my age thinner isn't too likely
either. I don't want to put everything on our
physical differences- but do you think that has an
impact? Any other ideas?
Upset Mom
Upset Mom