Is it attachment? Do you have those problems? Question from an adoptive mom...
08/02/10 20:32
Do any of you have attachment and social issues like
my adopted Chinese daughter?
We adopted a beautiful girl from China when she was 9
mo. old. We live in an area where there are very few
Chinese people except those working in restaurants.
She tends to avoid any discussion of her heritage and
says she does not like Chinese people. I think it is
a defense because she wants to fit in with the
mainstream teen in her predominantly Caucasian middle
class school. Unfortunately, she tends to push people
away , has no real friends that I know of, and has
managed to alienate most everyone who tries to have
any kind of a relationship with her, including family
by rejecting them first. She never reveals anything
about herself. My beautiful girl began to noticeably
push away from me and the rest of our family when she
was around 12. She is now almost 14. She doesn't
share anything with any of us (personal. info,
etc...) but seems to despise me the most. I wish I
knew how to help her become more comfortable.
Everything we have tried to help her become involved
in activities, etc... has not worked out. She has
just refused to consider any activity at this point.
She does not go out of the house except for school. N
o one ever calls her or invites her to go anywhere. I
am very sad for her, though she seems content
avoiding all aspects of life. I am concerned what
will happen in the future and how she will survive on
her own when she grows up. I think there are some
very real attachment issues that will affect her as
an older teen and probably in her adult life. i am
wondering if any of you other girls have attachment
issues or problems developing a bond and sharing of
yourself with your adoptive families. Any help you
could provide would be appreciated.